Beautiful
by lost-shepard
Summary: The teams sees a familiar face at a crime scene and embarks on a journey to discover hidden secrets.
1. Chapter 1

Beautiful

Amy Grant

I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me  
Feel your heartbeat just one more time  
Reaching back, trying to touch the moment  
Each precious minute that you were mine

How do you prepare  
When you love someone this way  
To let them go a little more each day?

The stars we put in place  
The dreams we didn't waste  
The sorrows we embraced  
The world belonged to you and me  
The oceans that we crossed  
The innocence we lost  
The hurting at the end  
I'd go there again  
'Cause it was beautiful  
It was beautiful

Some days, missing you is overwhelming  
When it hits me you're not coming back  
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered  
Was it worth it for the time we had?

My thoughts get kind of scattered  
But one thing I know is true  
I blessed the day that I found you

The rules we stepped aside  
The fear that we defied  
The thrill of the ride  
The fire in our hearts that burned  
The oceans that we crossed  
The innocence we lost  
The hurting at the end  
I'd go there again  
'Cause it was beautiful  
It was beautiful


	2. Chapter 2

My FIX for Judgement Day, totally AU and I unfortunately own nothing but if I did I would not have to be writing this story now. Please be kind it is my first NCIS fic.

The atmosphere in the small tavern could have been described on

a better day as being romantic. The small establishment was lit by

stained glass lamps hanging over each booth that were separated

by high backs to provide the patrons with the privacy they sought

There was soft music provided by an antique looking jukebox

but fortunately the tunes being played were not as outdated as the

machine playing them.

Several couples were slow dancing on a makeshift dance floor, which was really just an area where the owners had for whatever reason not put in any booths or tables.

On this day October 28, 2009 the dimly lit room proved to be more depressing than romantic

.

Possibly because of the date or possibly because of the older man at the bar who had arrived shortly after noon and remained slowly nursing bourbans.

It was now after seven in the evening and aside from the occasional trip to the mens room Leroy Jethro Gibbs had not moved from his stool nor had he spoken with anyone save the bartender.

Ziva watched him from a distance unwilling to disturb him and quite content to just observe and be back up if necessary. She of all people knew what today was and she also knew the significance of this date.

Ziva found it odd that Gibbs never mourned her on the anniversary of her death yet on her birth date he "celebrated" if one could call what he did celebrating.

She would have been forty two years old today, still so young especially for someone who has been dead for nearly two years.

Ziva sighs and wonders to herself why as humans we do these things to ourselves. Why wait until it is an impossibility to celebrate her, why did he not spend her birthdays with her while she lived?

Ziva herself remembered a few especially fun filled, booze laden October days she and Jenny had spent celebrating. One stood out in her mind more clearly.

October 28, 2004, Jenny and Ziva had just wrapped up an op in Istanbul and were now in an especially loud rock club in London.

"Ya know Ziva I have an opportunity to go back to the states , to D.C. actually, in the next few months and I might be able to pull some strings and bring you along with me" Jenny said while looking at her good friend and "sister" intently.

Ziva was startled that her friend was even considering going back to her home much less considering taking her along.

"How is that possible Jenny? I am Mossad and you are NCIS, my father will never allow it" Ziva replied, excited at the thought of getting away from Mossad and her father but also grounded enough in reality to ever dream of it as a possibility.

Jenny smilled at her good friend and Ziva could tell by the mischievous glint in her eyes that she had something in mind.

"Don't you worry Ziva, just leave it to me" She said between sips of her bourbon and then went on to say "Hey, have I ever let you down?" And Ziva had to admit that no Jenny had never let her down.

Ziva was startled from her daydream by a hand on her arm and as she moved her hand under her coat to her sidearm she was met by the blue eyes of the man she had come here to "protect". If only she could protect him from himself.

"Hey, you ready to take me home or do you want to sit here and daydream some more" Gibbs said his voice perhaps a bit gruffer from the bourbon he had consumed.

"Let us go then if you are quite done for the evening" Ziva replied watching him from the corner of her eyes. His eyes were red rimmed and blood shot, possibly from the alcohol or possibly from something else she wasn't sure.

" I too have my rituals for this day" Ziva spoke for the first time since leaving the bar and smiled inwardly as Gibbs seemed a bit startled, if not by her voice then by her knowledge of what this day symbolized for him.

"Oh yeah?" Gibbs muttered

"Yes, you see when Jenny and I were partners we were all the other had, we celebrated birthdays, holidays, Saturdays or any day really, but we always did it together."

"After her…after her death Sundays were hard for me because she and I always had Sunday brunch together if we were not busy working.

" Actually towards the end the whole team spent Sundays together, except you, Abby said you always turned her down" Ziva looked at him intently, she had pulled to a stop on a familiar street in Georgetown and Gibbs had just realized where they were.

"Why are we here Ziva?" Gibbs asked in an almost whisper

"This is my ritual for her birthday Gibbs, I sit here and remember all the really good times Jenny and I had together."

Ziva continued to speak but all Gibbs could do was look at the burned out shell of her home, the home he destroyed because he couldn't bear to think of anyone else living in her cherished space.

" Even after she became Director I would come over to her house for dinner and a movie and after a while Abby would tag along, after you left for Mexico we would all show up on her doorstep like orphans looking for food and comfort and she always provided it and never once did she show us her own pain"

After taking a steadying breath and wiping, what to Gibbs looked like, tears from her eyes Ziva continued.

"After the whole Le Grenouille thing it was strained for a while but one night Abby decided to get her "family" back together even if mommy and daddy couldn't be" Ziva laughed to herself at Abby's antics in trying to make everyone in her "family" happy.

Gibbs paused for a moment and considered what Ziva had just told him, basically that Jenny had taken his team under her wing and provided them with comfort, love, and support and he had been none the wiser.

"Why wasn't I ever told?" He asked and to Ziva he sounded angry

"No one thought it really mattered to you Gibbs, you were with Colonel Mann and we all saw how that hurt Jenny , she loved you ya know?, anyway we were a family but like a divorced family where mom and dad did not talk and just divided the children up for weekends and holidays. You had us all week at work but on days off we went to Moms"

Ziva exhaled slowly not sure if this was the right thing to do , she did not want to add to Gibb's pain but she felt like shaking him to get something out of him and break that damned control.

Gibbs sat silently in Zivas car and thought about all that Ziva had told him.

Jenny had constantly surprised him , and it should not have been a surprise that she had taken in his four wayward "Children". There had always been a kind, gentle side to Jen, she had shown him that side many times over the years.

He let out a shaky breath and spoke so softly that Ziva had to strain to hear.

"If I could go back and change anything Ziva , I would have gone after her after she left me in Paris and I wouldn't have taken no for an answer, she would have had children of her own and I would be inside that house right now with the woman I love"

Ziva thought to herself how he had said love and not loved in the past tense and then thought of something Jenny herself had told her one hot moonless night in Cairo

"You know Ziva, there are some species of animals that mate for life. Like wolves for example they may go off in the spring after the pups are born, but they always return to the same den year after year"

Ziva had not been sure at the time what jenny had been trying to tell her but now tonight in this car watching her boss grieve the woman he loved she is almost certain that Jennifer Shepard and Leroy Jethro Gibbs had mated for life.


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter starts about six months after the last ended

There had been many changes at NCIS since Leon Vance had taken over nearly three years ago. One being the addition of a new team member to Special Agent Gibbs team.

Director Vance had taken it upon himself to add a fifth member much to everyones surprise and shock especially given who the new Special agent was. Hollis Mann had come out of retirement and moved back to D.C. the year before and applied with NCIS as a Probationary status agent, of course everyone knew that with her experience with the Army CID she was much more than a probie but like Ziva she had to start somewhere.

Jethro Gibbs was not sure if Hollis Mann's position on his team bothered him or not. He did not like Vance saddling him with another member even if he did admit himself there were days they needed extra hands.

It wasn't the fact that he and Hollis had been lovers at one point, he wasn't sure how she felt but he was certain that any feelings he had harbored for her were gone.

No, it was the agent herself that bothered him more than anything. She had made mention that the two of them made good partners and that prickled him because he had only ever had one partner and well she wasn't here.

Gibbs had in effect partnered Hollis with McGee, not wanting to break up the dynamic that Tony and Ziva shared and so far it was working, he was even a bit surprised that Tim McGee had stood his ground with Mann and not let her boss him around. Way to go Tim.

"Boss, Boss" Gibbs startled out of a particularly pleasant daydream about a red haired beauty with deep green eyes jerked his hand across his desk and spilled a perfectly good cup of Jamaican blend.

"Dammit McGee" He grumbled while trying to save the half finished reports on his desk.

"Sorry Boss, but we have a dead Marine at Quantico" McGee said while backing away from Gibbs desk to avoid any possible wrath over the spilled coffee.

"Well what are you waiting for McGee, get the truck ." Gibbs said while reaching into his desk to retrieve his gun and badge.

"Dinozzo, David with me. Mann you ride with McGee" He said while heading for the elevator.

Upon arriving at the crime scene the first thing Gibbs noticed was the pink ribbon on the mailbox, obviously a baby girl had been born to this home recently and that made his gut clench.

The second thing he noticed was the blood trail coming from the open garage door.

"Dinozzo, secure the perimeter and David follow that blood trail" He barked and both agents jumped

"On it boss" "Yes Gibbs" the two agents answered and headed off

"Where's the body?" Gibbs asked

"Inside the kitchen Boss" McGee answered

Gibbs started into the kitchen through the garage door surveying the scene as he went.

There on the floor lay the body of a Gunnery Sargent still in his fatigues, he had been shot once in the back of the head, obviously surprised as he entered his house.

"Alright what do we know McGee?"

"Wife came in from shopping and found him Boss, Agent Mann is upstairs with her now" McGee said as he took pictures of the body and surrounding scene

Gibbs looked around, for base housing. The house was cozy, well kept. Breakfast dishes were sitting in the sink, a magazine was opened on the kitchen table alongside a baby's pacifier and a package of baby wipes. He also noticed grocery bags from the store, the re-usable ones that Abby says saves the planet or whatever, still containing the purchases were strewn along the kitchen floor.

As he walked from the kitchen into the living area he noticed an infants carseat with what appeared to be blood on the bottom. Obvious the wife had sat the child down in a blood pool upon finding her husbands body.

For some odd reason Jethro Gibbs was hesitant to go any further into the house. Everywhere he looked he saw signs of family, baby blankets and stuffed animal on the sofa. A used coffee cup on the end table alongside womens reading glasses and a book, "Great Battles Of The Civil War" hmm a history buff he thought to himself.

As he started upstairs he noticed one thing a framed picture of a newborn baby girl, his stomache flopped as he took in the tiny face in the picture. The fuzz on her little head was definitely red and her little wide eyes were a shade of green he had only seen once before.

"Jethro" the voice of Hollis Mann broke him out of his thoughts

As he looked up into Hollis' face he could swear she looked pale, was there another body upstairs or God forbid that beautiful baby girl. The thought of that made him panic and rush past Agent Mann into the nearest open door which was what he presumed to be the master bedroom.

His rushing into the room startled the woman sitting on the edge of the bed. Jethro couldn't see her face but he saw the tiny baby latched at her chest feeding, he couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from the baby who was partially covered by a fuzzy pink blanket. He could see her tiny hands clenching onto her mothers blouse and little legs kicking.

It was then that he really looked at the mother, dark hair flowing over her shoulders and onto the blanket covering the baby. Wearing a pink oxford not tucked into old comfortable jeans which were tucked into brown suede boots. Nice body from what he could see, especially for a woman with a newborn.

"Jethro" Hollis had followed him into the room.

"We need to speak outside for a moment" Hollis said and it was at that moment that the mother raised her face and looked Gibbs in the eyes.

The green eyes were the first thing he noticed and then the tiny scar on her forehead he knew came from a fight with a suspect years ago in Norfolk. The tiny sprinkling of freckles that were always darker in the spring and summer and then there was that mouth. Bow shaped and entirely kissable and all he wanted to do right now was test them to see if they tasted the same as he remembered.

Jethro felt Hollis' hand on his arm pulling him away from the bedroom but he couldn't tear his eyes from the woman sitting there, his Jenny, he knew it. No one else had ever made his stomache clench in such a way.

"Jethro, she says her name is Jennifer Dunbar and she has been married to Gunnery Sargent Shane Dunbar for a little over a year" Hollis spoke as they moved back into the living room

"That's my Jenny" Gibbs spoke, softer than Hollis had ever heard him speak. The look in his eyes was like a punch in the gut to her, she had thought that maybe he could move past his demons and move forward and even though the woman upstairs did bear a striking resemblance to Jennifer Shepard it was impossible.

"Jethro, that's impossible, it's merely a coincidence that there are some physical similarities and they share the same name" Hollis spoke firmly wanting to make Gibbs see things her way.

"Ziva" Gibbs yelled out startling Hollis as he did so. Hollis was not surprised to see Agents David and Dinozzo as well as McGee rush into the living room.

"Yes Gibbs" Ziva answered with a worried look on her face. Dinozzo and McGee also stood by looking at their boss worriedly, something definitely was not right with Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"Ziva go upstairs and interview the umm the wife and Ziva rule number three okay" Gibbs said and turned to move back into the kitchen with the body

Ziva thought for a minute and turned to Tony with a questioning look

"Rule number three Zee-vah, never believe what you're told always double check" Tony said with a grin always glad to help Ziva with the rules.

Ziva noticed the woman sitting on the bed holding the baby as soon as she entered the bedroom.

"Ma'am, my name is Agent David and I need to ask you some questions" Ziva said firmly as she moved closer to the victims wife.

"Well the other female agent already asked me questions and I told her everything I know and the man who came barging in while I was feeding my baby just looked at me like he had seen a ghost or something"

It was the voice that Ziva recognized first and then the face, the dark hair did not distract her because Jenny had worn her hair dark before on numerous ops. But there was no disguising those eyes.

"Jenny" Ziva gasped

"Yes my name is Jenny, have we met before?" Jenny answered searching her memory for some clue as to who this woman before her was

Ziva watched Jenny's face intently. She saw her forehead crease like it did every time Jenny concentrated really hard or was puzzled. She could see her searching her mind for something and could tell that Jenny was truly confused and then Ziva realized that she did not know who she was.

" I, I am not sure" Ziva replied "You look like someone I used to know and for a moment I thought you were her" Ziva moved closer to her and sat on the edge of the bed and really took in the woman before her then.

Her hair was longer than it had been the last day Ziva had seen her, the day she had supposedly died. She looked younger in a way hoever, more relaxed except at the moment her eyes were red and puffy from crying and mascara was streaked down her face and her whole body seemed to shake with the barely contained sobs that were threatening to overtake her at any moment.

Ziva reached her arm around Jenny and pulled her closer

"I am sorry about your husband" Ziva whispered and at that moment the tears overtook jenny and she sobbed into Ziva's shoulder. Ziva looked up and saw Gibbs standing in the doorway surrounded by Tony, McGee, Ducky and Hollis.

"Jenny, can we take the baby downstairs for a moment so you and I can talk?" Ziva asked as she wiped tears from Jenny's face

"No, no please don't take my baby" Jenny seemed to clutch the infant tighter.

Hollis moved into the room and reached down as if to take the baby girl and Jenny visibly flinched.

"No" She spoke louder than she had before and Hollis moved back, Gibbs slowly moved to stand in front of Jenny and squatted down in front of her and gently rubbed the soft red fuzz on the baby's head.

"Ya know I promise you that I will never let anyone hurt this precious girl" Jethro said as he looked Jenny in the eyes.

"I will just be downstairs in the living room with her and when you finish speaking to Ziva we can take you and her somewhere safe okay?" The tone of Gibbs voice was so soft and soothing that it seemed to calm Jenny enough to loosen her hold on the baby.

"Hope" "Her name is Hope" Jenny said as she stood and looked Gibbs directly in the eyes.

"And I expect you to keep your promise Agent..umm?

"Gibbs" Jethro replied "Leroy Jethro Gibbs ma'am" he said with a smirk and turned with Hope in his arms and moved out of the bedroom.

Several hours later the crime scene had been processed, the body had been removed by Ducky and Palmer and Ziva was still in the bedroom talking to Jenny.

Gibbs found himself still holding Hope while she slept. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he looked at her little face.

She was her mothers child, the red hair and the green eyes were obvious but also the way her little arm was thrown above her head while sleeping or the way her brow wrinkled as she dreamed

. She was all Jenny and didn't seem to physically posses any similarity to the dead man Ducky had removed from the kitchen earlier.

In the bedroom Jenny sat stunned by the days events, she had walked into her house and found Shane on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood and then these agents had shown up, each one more shocked than the last to see her which in itself was puzzling.

Jenny knew there were things about her past that she didn't know, hell to be honest her memory only went back as far as June of 2008. She knew that she had brain surgery to remove a tumor and that had caused some amnesia. She had also been told that she had been mugged previously and that explained the scars from the bullet wounds on her shoulder, arm and abdomen.

What she didn't know until today was who she really was and Special Agent Ziva David had pretty much filled in the blanks for her with the exception of the gunshot wounds, the mugging story had obviously been a lie.

The doctors in California and at Bethesda had told her she was in a government witness protection program and that her real name was Lauren Jennifer Simpson

They told her that she had been an assistant to a high ranking Senator and would need to change her appearance somewhat and keep a low profile. She had been told that she had no family or significant other and at her age she found that disturbing.

She had met Shane Dunbar at a private rehab facility in Maryland, he was a Gunny Sgt. Wounded in Afghanistan and she needed extensive rehab to regain strength in her arms and legs after her brain surgery. They hit it off almost immediately and perhaps because of the life and death nature of both of their cases they decided to rush headlong into an affair after they were released from rehab,

Their marriage had been spur of the moment and Jenny had been quite surprised to find herself pregnant not long afterwards. It made her feel guilty now to realize that it had not been a great love match but the sex had been good and they had been great friends with a lot of common interests.

Still at night she was haunted in her dreams by images of steamy erotic sex with a blue eyed man whom she had no clue was, until today.

She knew instinctually she could trust Leroy Jethro Gibbs with her child and everything else and she knew his eyes were the ones she saw in her dreams every night.

Jenny was startled out of her thoughts by Agent Gibbs who was standing in the doorway holding Hope and speaking to Ziva. She met his eyes and felt her insides clench, this man could seemingly see right through to her soul. She stood as he moved towards her and Ziva walked away and down the stairs.

"Hey" Gibbs spoke softly as he handed Hope over to her.

"She's been asleep the whole time, I changed her diaper once and she was rooting around on my chest I think she was umm looking for you" He smiled as he stroked Hopes downy red hair.

"Yeah, she eats about every two to two and a half hours" Jenny murmured as she shifted Hope to her shoulder and gently rubbed her back."

"So did we know one another in my previous life?" Jenny asked as she turned and sat again on the side of the bed.

"Yeah, we were partners" Gibbs replied looking a bit nervous

"What kind of partners?" Jenny asked tilting her head to the side while looking at Jethro intently. He couldn't help but notice the mischievous glint in her eyes and thought to himself that she was still his Jen deep inside somewhere and he was going to bring her out.


	4. Chapter 4

Jethro Gibbs slowly tried to fight his way to consciousness. He was sore and cold and for a moment couldn't figure out where he was. The sounds from his dreams were getting louder , he thought it might be the neighbors cat taken up residence in his precious basement again.

As Gibbs sat up on his basement floor the presious night returned to him in an instant. Jenny was here, his Jenny, in his house. After convincing her that she needed to be somewhere safe and his house was the safest place he knew.

The case had gotten nowhere in the past twenty four hours, no witnesses, no real motive, it wasn't a robbery as the couple had few possessions worth taking. The blood trail from the garage had been from the family dog who had walked through the crime scene and escaped the house when Jenny came in. In the mean time he would keep her and Hope under his own personal protection and find out how much if anything of her life she remembered.

Jenny walked through the home of Special Agent Gibbs with Hope in her arms. Her host had disappeared to what she suspected was a cellar or basement the night before but there were still about six armed agents patrolling the perimeter of his home.

She had not slept well last night . Everytime she closed her eyes Jenny saw Shane's body lying lifeless on her kitchen floor. The guilt was overwhelming her, she did not need to be told that whoever had murdered Shane had most likely been connected to her previous life as Jennifer Shepard.

Hope on the other hand had slept remarkably well for a five week old. She slept throughout the night for the first time, possibly because Jenny had refused to put her down and instead had lain her on a pillow in the middle of Gibbs bed where she herself had slept. It was at that moment that jenny wondered if she had spent the night in that bed before.

"Jen" Gibbs had caught her thinking about him and the blush that crossed her face was obvious.

"Jenny, you ok?" He asked as he slowly approached her and reached out and tenderly rubbed Hopes soft little cheek.

"You didn't tell me Agent Gibbs" Jenny sputtered , feeling suddenly like a pre-pubescent girl

"Tell you what Jen?" Gibbs asked, arching an eyebrow, trying hard not to smirk at her obvious discomfort. He knew Jenny Shepard like the back of his hand and he knew she was thinking about him.

Jenny gave him a part amused, part exasperated look and spoke

"what kind of partners were we, I mean I know it was more than me being a NCIS Special Agent as you told me last night. I feel like it was more."

Jethro considered her words carefully and wondered exactly how much he should tell her. Ducky had cautioned about filling in her blanks so to speak, but on the other hands her instincts were still very sharp and she would eventually find out.

"Well Jen, umm we were partners in the field, and friends off work and there was a time we were more than friends" Gibbs spoke slowly and softly and Jenny could see in his eyes that he was very affected by this admission.

"We were lovers then?" she asked shyly

"Yes, we were once upon a time the very best of lovers" Gibbs felt all of his energy drain away and sat heavily onto the sofa in the living room where they now were.

Jenny stooped and laid Hope in her car seat and covered her with her soft pink blanket before turning and sitting on the sofa next to Gibbs.

"What happened, I mean with us, did you love me?, did I love you?" She asked as her hand moved over his forearm gently

Jethro looked into her clear green eyes and realized that he was looking at Jenny now, not Jen or Director Shepard but Jenny his friend and lover who God knows he had missed so much

"I did love you, and I think you loved me but you chose your career over me and you left me"

He didn't mean for the words to spill out like they did and he knew he sounded angry and if truth were told he was

. That child in the car seat should be his, Jenny should be his wife now, not just a witness whom he was charged with protecting. And dammit he was angry at her and at himself.

Jenny was taken aback by the harshness of his voice and realized then that whatever they had before was deep, intense and complicated.

God help her everytime she looked at this man she forgot that she was mourning her dead husband and all she could think of was remembering why exactly this man before her made her guts clench and her body quake from the inside out.

She was broken out of her reverie by Gibbs phone ringing

"Yeah Gibbs" He answered gruffly

"OK, be there in thirty" He closed the phone and looked at her intently.

"Mrs. Dunbar you and I have to go to headquarters, the CIA are there looking for you." Gibbs said as he raised himself from the sofa and headed upstairs to change


End file.
